It's Your Job To Grow

​Hi friend! I hope you are ready for some tough love today because I am going to dish it out. See, regardless of your past trauma, experiences or dysfunction, it is your job to grow… even if others don’t. 
 
Yes, it would be great if others owned their side of the street, apologized for their wrongs and made amends for their hurts. But even if that doesn’t happen, it is still your job to grow. 
 
 You see, as adults it is our job to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions. Even when those actions and struggles are because of choices someone else made. 
 
I was recently talking to a client about her frustration that she was having to do so much work to heal from the actions of her partner. He had been in an addiction for a long time and she was working on healing from decades of infidelity and lies. She was overwhelmed by the ripple effect it had on every area of her life and the wounds that were exposed from her childhood that she did not realize were still there. 
 
Here's the thing…. I get the frustration of having to do really hard work to heal from something you had no control over. It is frustrating, enraging and sometimes overwhelming. But I challenge you to reframe the way you are thinking about it (just like I challenged my client to). 
 
Instead of considering yourself a victim to your circumstances or hurts, think of yourself as a conqueror of your demons. There is something empowering about being able to rephrase the narrative to something that puts you in control and having the power. You may not have had the power or choice in your trauma, but you have all the power in your healing. 
 
Which goes back to the beginning, it is your job to grow. No one can do it for you, not even your therapist ;). Even if the person that wronged you does heal, make amends and change, it does not magically heal your wounds or hurts. You have to be the one to do it. 
 
And let me tell you something, you deserve to grow! We all deserve the opportunity to learn, grow and heal. It doesn’t happen overnight but here are a few tips to start the healing journey-

• Read a self-help book. There are so many books about healing and trauma. To check out some of my favorites, click here and look under the trauma section. 
• Start therapy. If you find the right therapist that has a trauma-focused background, they can guide you on your healing journey. If you are in AZ, reach out to me! I would love to guide you on your journey. If you are not in AZ, check with friends, churches and online for recommended counselors near you. Remember, you will not click with everyone and that is okay. If you need help finding the right therapist for you, the next blog post is going to be all about that so keep an eye out ;)
• Journal. Journaling can be a great way to get your thoughts and feelings out of your head and on paper. You may not even realize how you feel or think about certain situations or events until you take the time and allow yourself the space to think about them (but please don’t get that confused with getting stuck in your feelings and/or the memory). 

 
However you begin your healing and growth journey, always remember that you are worth healing.