So, I know the title sounds a bit stuffy. Perhaps I am not the most creative with my titles but at least it gives you an idea of what the post is about. I see so many people struggle with their home life when they don’t have to. Maybe they feel resentful because they carry the main burden of household chores or the parenting. Some are overwhelmed with the laundry or meal prep. Still others are drowning in the chaos and clutter of their everyday life.
What if I told you it doesn’t have to be that way? What if you can enjoy your home, your kids and your life? Unfortunately, I don’t have a magic pill to give you but with some (or maybe a lot) of hard work, you can have the home life you desire and the work will pay off.
For those of you that follow me on social media, you saw that a few weeks ago we did a 14 day challenge for decreasing stress and increasing peace. If you did not see that, I encourage you to go back and look at that because there are some great tips on decluttering and identifying external triggers. Gretchen Rubin actually wrote a whole book on the topic called “Outer Order, Inner Calm” that has some great bite size tips on decluttering. But alas, that is just one step. The more order and the less clutter, the less to clean.
That may look like setting boundaries with yourself around decluttering regularly, if you buy something for the home then you get rid of one thing for the home or something along those lines. It may be that you set boundaries with yourself that when you do laundry, you complete it from start to finish instead of having a pile of clean laundry on the couch. Or, when the dishwasher is clean you unload it right away instead of waiting a few days and allowing more dishes to pile up. Best of all, that could look like distributing household responsibilities so it isn’t all on you.
Because a lot of my followers are stay at home or work from home moms, I want to pause and address something. Just because you are not working outside of the home does not mean you are a slave to everyone in your house. Sure, you may have more responsibilities in the home but it doesn’t mean that you do everything. Your kids still need to learn how to do laundry and run the dishwasher or else when they move out, they will be ill-equipped to handle life. They need to know how to cook meals, clean bathrooms and operate a vacuum. Handling all of that for them regularly is actually doing them a disservice. Now, that doesn’t mean if they are in finals week that you don’t help them with their responsibilities or if they are sick or sometimes just to be nice but, it isn’t the expectation.
If you are not ready to start with big changes, maybe you let your kids know that you are no longer going to clean up their plates after dinner and now it is time for them to rinse their dishes and load them in the dishwasher. Maybe you set boundaries in your house that when someone cooks, the other person cleans up. You can start small and still get some results that you desperately need.
Maybe for you it isn’t the chores, the responsibilities or the to-list. Perhaps it is the atmosphere of your home that you want to change. Maybe you are used to lots of yelling, name calling, disrespect and general upheaval. Then set some boundaries around that. That may look like “I will not engage in yelling, if it continues I will go into another room” or “In this house, eye rolling will not be tolerated. If it continues, ______ will happen”. But again, only set the action step if you are willing to back it up with completing the action. Remember, we show other people how to treat us by the boundaries we set and the behaviors we allow.
What are some areas in your home where you are struggling? Set some boundaries today!
Jocelyn is a Licensed Professional Counselor and course creator who desires to help clients heal and grow into who God created them to be.